The Piano, the China, the Loft: Hard Items and Kind Decisions
Some objects stall a downsize for weeks. Give each one its own afternoon, and decide what it is for, not only what it might be worth.
In this article 10 sections
Every downsize has a handful of objects that bring everything to a halt. The garage clears in a weekend, the kitchen in a few evenings, and then you reach the piano, or the cabinet of good china, or the loft full of boxes with your children's names on them. These are not difficult because they are heavy. They are difficult because they carry years of family life. This list takes the most common hard items one at a time, with practical options for each.
First, a different question
When we look at a treasured object, we tend to ask what it is worth. That question often leads nowhere, because the market value of many family pieces is lower than we hope, and the emotional value cannot be measured. A more useful question is: what is this object for? Is it for playing, for using at Sunday lunch, for reminding you of someone, or for passing on? Once you know what it is for, it becomes easier to see whether keeping it in the new home actually serves that purpose.
Give each hard item an afternoon of its own. If you are working through a structured plan such as the 90-day downsize calendar, these sessions fit best in the memory-room weeks, once your everyday decisions are practised.
Ask what the object is for, and the answer about whether to keep it often follows.
1. The piano
A piano is large, heavy and often deeply loved, even if nobody has played it in years. Start by measuring the space and the access in the new home, including stairs, doorways and any lift. If it will not fit, the decision is partly made for you. If it will, ask honestly whether anyone will play it.
Options include offering it to a family member who plays, selling it, or donating it to a school, church or community group, though many organisations already have one and not all can take another. Moving a piano usually needs specialist handling, so ask any removal company you are speaking to whether they can do it, and get the cost in writing.
2. The good china
Full dinner services were once a standard wedding present, and many homes have one that comes out once a year or not at all. Consider keeping a small set, perhaps enough for four or six, and using it every day. China that is used is enjoyed. China in a cabinet is mostly dusted. The rest can go to family members who want it, to charity, or to a seller, though demand for complete services is often modest.
3. Boxes of photographs
Photographs are among the hardest things to sort, and also among the most rewarding. Work through them slowly, in batches. Remove duplicates, blurred shots and pictures of places nobody can identify. Keep the best, and consider scanning a selection so that every family member can have copies. Sorting photographs alongside the family papers works well, and our guide to decluttering decades of paperwork has a method you can adapt.
4. Furniture that will not fit
Large wardrobes, dining tables that seat ten and deep sofas rarely suit a smaller home. Draw a simple floor plan of the new place, to scale, and place the pieces you want to keep on it. Furniture that does not fit can be offered to family first, then sold or donated. If you are still weighing up what kind of home to move to, our comparison of single-storey houses, apartments and townhouses may help you picture the room sizes involved.
5. Collections
Stamps, records, books, figurines, tools. A collection is often a story about a person, and breaking it up can feel like breaking up that story. One option is to keep a small, curated selection on display and pass the rest on together, so it stays a collection. Specialist clubs and dealers may be interested in some collections. If you believe something is valuable, a qualified valuer is a better guide than guesswork.
6. Inherited pieces
A clock from a grandparent, a parent's writing desk, a chest that has been in the family for generations. These items often come with an unspoken sense of duty. It may help to remember that the person who left it to you wanted it to be useful or loved, not to become a burden. Ask other family members if they would like it. If nobody does, photograph it, write down its story, and let it go to someone who will use it.
If wills or estates are involved
Where items form part of an estate that has not been settled, check with the executor before giving anything away. For questions about your own will and who should receive particular items, an official source or a qualified professional can explain the options where you live.
In England and Wales, the official guidance on making a will explains how to leave specific items to specific people. Rules differ in other countries, so look for the equivalent official source where you live.
7. Children's things
School reports, drawings, sports trophies, old toys. Many parents keep these for decades, and many grown-up children are surprised to find them. The kindest approach is often to hand them over. Ask each child to collect their boxes, or to choose what they want, by a clear date. Explain that whatever is left after that will be passed on. Most adult children appreciate being asked rather than having the decision made for them.
Your five options, side by side
| Option | Works well for | Things to consider |
|---|---|---|
| Keep | Items you will use or display in the new home | Measure first; it must earn its space |
| Pass to family | Heirlooms, photographs, children's things | Set a collection date and stick to it |
| Sell | Pieces with real demand | Takes time; values are often lower than hoped |
| Donate | Useful furniture, china, books | Check what local charities can accept |
| Photograph and let go | Items whose value is mostly memory | Write a line about each one's story |
Selling versus giving
When an item has some value, it is tempting to sell it on principle. That can be the right choice, but it is worth weighing up.
Pros
- Selling can recover some money towards moving costs
- A buyer who wants the item is likely to value it
- It can feel like a fair end for something you paid good money for
Cons
- Listing, answering messages and arranging collection take time
- Prices for many traditional pieces are modest
- Waiting for a buyer can hold up the whole move
If you have a whole houseful of items to clear, some people use an estate sale or similar approach, where these are available. Whichever route you choose, give it a deadline. When the hard items are settled, the rest of the move becomes much lighter, and you can turn to planning the move itself.
What if my children do not want the family heirlooms?
How do I find out whether something is valuable?
Should I keep things for grandchildren?
Is it wrong to feel sad about letting things go?
This guide is part of our Downsizing series. One small job a week arrives in Sunday Notes, with nothing to sell you.
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